Requiem
by NateGold
Summary: Post 3rd impact. After 8 years abroad, Shinji returns to Japan...but is he home? A look at the characters lives as they might be. Read, review and enjoy!
1. Have Cello, will travel!

Requiem  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and all characters/events portrayed within are property of Gainax, Hideki Anno and AD vision. This is a work of fan fiction and is not for profit.  
  
Authors note: First work of fan fiction. I haven't written any fiction in a long time. I figured this might be a good way to get my writing chops back. Might be some ooc, acc. Pre readers needed. Constructive criticism is always welcome. This was meant as a one shot but I'm leaving the door open for additional chapters depending on feedback. Enjoy.  
  
I stumbled a bit climbing down the rubble strewn beach. The stars still shone; Sunrise was still about an hour away. Chill winds blew in from what most called the sea of souls, making me glad of my long woolen coat. "Eight years. Has it been that long already?" Memories of 3rd impact still haunted my nightmares even today. On the horizon I could see in my mind the gigantic head of the fallen angel that looked like Rei Ayanami. Closer in to the shore, the petrified remains of the MP EVAS still stood, grotesque reminders of the madness unleashed here. Over a billion souls all connected through my mind .I shivered violently. Enough of that; I had work to do.  
  
Down at the waters edge stood four driftwood crosses. I paused by the first one.  
  
"Hello Father. Has mother forgiven you yet? I know that I can't. Sick thing is that even after all this time I crave hearing you acknowledge me as a son, just once. Still hurts, even now. And here I thought I had gotten rid of those feelings. What a waste of perfectly good therapy! You probably gave poor Unit 01 indigestion, bastard that you were and are. But even though I can't forgive you, I think I finally understand you. Well, maybe just a little."  
  
"Mother" I stood before the next marker. Tears welled up but I held them back. "I wish you, of all people could've come back. I miss you. Feeling your love.helped heal my soul. One day I'll see you again, "I grinned a bit, despite myself, "but I still have too much living to do. What, me, Shinji Ikari, having a life? Sounds amazing, doesn't it. Asuka would probably say otherwise " I winced at the imagined feeling then shrugged. "Conditioned reflex, I guess." I rested my hand on the cross piece. "I'll always love you, and I miss you."  
  
"Kaji.You were what I wish my real father was. You were always willing to advice, and even more importantly, to listen. I'll never forget that simple act of kindness. Thank you." In the sand, I propped up a bottle of lavender perfume. "Just in case you decide to do a little flirting in the next world. Misato would never admit it, but she misses you. So do I."  
  
"Rei. My little sister that almost was. Father never gave you a chance to really LIVE life, but you gave yours twice so that I could. I tried to bring you back, but you were bound to Lillith. I might not have been much of a brother to you, but I love you. And remember, please, smile a bit. Laugh. Cry. It's all part of what makes us human. Now, please excuse me, but I have one last task to do".  
  
Back up on the shale was an old friend of mine. Well, old/new. My original Cello was totaled in the impact. It was a part of my past, one that I was laying to rest. I sat on a boulder and thought for a minute. As the glow of the sun became visible in the distance, I closed my eyes, put bow to string and just played. It was something I had thought of on the flight here. Now, it just rolled out, seeming to play me instead of the other way around. I was just a medium for the music that flowed, soft and sad at first, then changing into a confident and almost joyous noise. As the music finally faded, so too, did my inner ghosts and demons. I was home.  
  
I always did have a knack for speaking too soon.  
  
Suddenly, I was greeted by a round of applause off to my side. Damn near made me jump out of my skin!! 2 members of the coastal watch, on the lookout for any "returnees". This, I did not need. I never did like playing 20 questions, even less so when all I wanted was to stay incognito. No sense in running.like I really could with a cello in tow. So I sat and waited.  
  
"Beautifully done, but I don't recognize the piece", said the first one, wiping sweat from his forehead. Short and stocky, but a bit on the chubby side. "You wouldn't. I first performed it today." "Quite impressive but I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask for some identification. This is a restricted area". This came from his partner, a tall skinny fellow who looked like he'd blow away in a strong breeze.  
  
Just my luck; I was being interrogated by Laurel and Hardy!  
  
"Is this really necessary, Gents? I'm not doing any harm, and was just about to leave."  
  
"Again, I need some I.D. Now." Boy had itchy fingers; He was rubbing them up and down the baton he had at his side. I wondered if he was compensating for something. His partner stood behind and slightly to the left of him, backing him up.  
  
I sighed. Dug out my passport, handed it over. Saw recognition kick in and waited for the reaction. 3-2-1..  
  
I-I-I-IKARI-SAMA!!!  
  
"PATHFINDER!!"*  
  
Both bowed so low, their heads almost touched the sand.  
  
.Bingo. It was this kind of thing that had a hand in driving me away from Japan in the first place. I mean, come on. Yeah, I pointed the way for everyone who wanted to come back, but a deity I wasn't. I never wanted, asked for, or deserved this kind of slavishly worshipful attitude. Personally, atheist that I was, I never was big on religion.  
  
I waved off their homage. "Please, guys, I can't accept this honor."  
  
"But you saved us all!! " "You're a Hero!"  
  
"That was a long time ago. Now, I'm just another poor musician looking for a gig. Can I go now?" I asked, slightly sardonic. Both nodded, open mouthed and goggle eyed, looking for the world like a pair of bobble-head dolls. "Thank you". I started to walk away, and then stopped. "Oh, and fellows? Can you just forget I was here? I'd really appreciate it."  
  
Again, the nod.  
  
Thanks guys. Catch ya'll another time.  
  
I walked away, back to the Rental R.V. I had parked up on what was left of the road. Forget about it my Ass! Within an hour or 2, word would spread that Shinji Ikari, former pilot of Unit 01, hero, savior and quasi-god was back. Couldn't be helped, though. In the meantime, I had places to go and old friends to see.  
  
At least, I hoped they still were.  
  
I kicked the rig into gear and rolled off into the rising sun. Next stop, Tokyo-2! ________________________________________________________________________  
*Since Shinji paved the way to leave the instrumentality and objected  
strenuously to being referred to as either savior or messiah, it was  
decided to give him the honorific of Pathfinder. 


	2. Do you mind?

R equiem.  
  
Chapter 2: "Do you mind..?"  
  
Disclaimer: Same verse, just like the first.  
  
Thanks for the great feedback so far. Hopefully, I'll be able to make the following chapters as good, if not better. And now, on with the show. and a happy and healthy new year to all!  
  
"O.K., Shinji, we're about ready to start. How're you doing in there?"  
"I feel like an electric porcupine in a spider's web", I groused. Wires and needles stuck out in every direction from my body, feeding constant telemetry updates to waiting graphs. Oh, I knew it had to be done, but why couldn't they find a way to make it a bit more comfortable? "IT" was testing the growth of my Tele-empathic powers. It was something that had been brought about during the big 3I. According to Ritsuko, My brain couldn't have handled all that traffic in its previous state, so it changed. Radically. My abilities to receive thought and sensory data was still growing, and it was felt that I would soon start to manifest other abilities as well. So GEHIRN (the downsized research-not-combat version of NERV) was always charting my evolution. Yeah, that's right; I was the promised next step in man's evolution. My deceased dear old dad and his fellow senile friends were on the right track, but a very wrong train. I was well compensated for my troubles, though. Ritsuko's dry chuckle brought me around. "We'll try and wrap it up quick, ok? " "Yes, mother", I japed. "After dealing with you children and Misato?! Perish the thought!" She then turned to a different monitor. "Maya, if you're ready, let's go with those images we selected." "Hai, Sempai". "Maya, I still haven't broken you of that habit, have I? "Producing a bright blush from the pert brunette. "Ok, Shinji, on my mark; 3-2-1-MARK!" I leaned back and closed my eyes, sending my mind questing for a particular thought signature. Ah, there! "First image - a super-deformed unit 01." "Correct. Next image." "A can of Yebisu" I then laughed "followed by a drooling Misato!" "On the money, Shinji. Next." "Hey that one's of you, doc, and.."HOLY SHIT!!" I lurched forward, tensed and rubbing my head. I was doing an excellent imitation of a tomato. "Shinji, what's happened? Pulse and respiration elevated, psychograph's lit up like a Christmas tree! Are you ok?" "Yeah, but right now I really need a cold shower. I also feel this incredible urge to brush and floss my teeth to get rid of some non-existent hair." I'd received a full sensory suite with that one. "Maya, you kinky thing you! A little warning next time, ok? "I sighed, partially in exasperation, but also out of frustration.  
  
On the monitor, Maya looked like she was going to melt through the floor from mortification. Ritsuko was trying hard, and failing, to keep from howling with laughter. "Why Shinji, and here I thought every man's fantasy was a threesome" She teased, then more seriously, "Ok, I think that's enough for now. That additional sensory data you received was unexpected at this point, so we'll work on developing a finer mental screening process. I think we'll keep you on the dampers for a while, to ensure you can sleep at night." The dampers she referred to were actually some common anti-epileptic medications. By suppressing neural activity, they damped down my sensitivity threshold to a level I could live with. I was able to keep a good block up during the day, but when I tired, I became more susceptible to mental "noise". "O.k. Maybe next time we'll work on the projective side, also. In the meantime, anyone for lunch? That is, after someone gives me some help getting this stuff off me!" We adjourned to a nearby café, splitting some excellent Ten-don and Pork katsu. A few pitchers of beer went down nicely as we swapped stories and reminisced. "Shinji, are you going to that broadcast about the angel wars and 3rd impact?" "Yeah, I was thinking of popping in and adding my 2 cents. So?" "Asuka's going to be there, you know." I chuckled, feeling a sense of warmth knowing both Maya and Ritsuko were concerned about me. "I mended fences with her quite some time ago. In fact, her hubbie's one of my best buds." I saw surprise on both their faces. I'd have to tell them about it some time. I saw Ritsuko frowning. "Something else I should know, Ritz Chan?" "Misato's slated to be there, too." A look of pain crossed my face at the memories those words triggered. For about a week after we woke up on that beach, I had been tending to Asuka. We had happened on an emergency shelter which was well stocked with food and medical gear. During this time, people had started to come back. This set up a disorienting and painful "noise" in my head, which soon got to the point where my mind shut down in self defense. Fortunately, we were found by a U.N Medivac team. They had homed in on a distress beacon activated by our entrance to the shelter. So, one catatonic Shinji and a near-frantic German red-head were airlifted to the nearest functional hospital. By some quirk, Ritsuko and Maya were doing yeomen's service there. Ritsuko took immediate charge of us both. I was out for a long time. When I came to my senses, I found out from Maya that Asuka had gone back to Germany. That hurt. A lot. But even worse was that Misato had gone there as well, and had run out on me without a word of explanation, not even a note! This betrayal would have shattered me, if it hadn't been for Ritz, Maya, Makoto and Shigeru. They took me in and became my second surrogate family. Our relationship remained very close to this day. I never did find out why she deserted me like that. Ritsuko knew, but wouldn't say anything. All I knew was that their final conversation was stormy, to say the least. I made a decision. "Ritsuko, I think I will. I need some answers, and I'm not going to get any by avoiding Misato." "I figured you were going to say that." She put her arms around my shoulders and gave a squeeze. "We're here if you need us. You know that." "Yes. And thanks. You're very special to me, both of you." Hugs, kisses and additional alcohol were exchanged. Then, we parted company. It was New Genesis Eve, the kick off for a world- wide week long celebration of Man's return from collective oblivion. I drove to a secluded spot in the hills overlooking Tokyo-2. The Sun was sinking down, and the evening breeze stirred the grass where I sat. I dug a bottle out of a cooler and waited for the stars to come up. Then, Fireworks flared over head. Music and cheers floated out from the city below. It was Party time! A great time to be with loved ones. I stood and let my past flow by, pondering what was and what might have been. I then raised my bottle and made a toast, one popular with the British in particular.  
  
"To absent friends", I said and drank deeply. I then threw the bottle against a rock, shattering it.  
  
Things were about to get interesting. 


	3. Culture Schlock

Requiem chapter 3: (revised)  
Culture Schlock.  
  
Disclaimer: Same refrain, so cause me no pain. I don't own any rights to any manga or anime either, much to the sorrow of my bank account. Authors note: After posting it and re-reading this chapter, I realized that it was severely lacking. A teacher once said, "Show, don't tell". So that's what I'm going to do. I refuse to allow this to become a crapfic in order to hurry it along.  
  
"Oooh, my head!" Don't ask me what I was drinking last night. Hell, I don't even know how I got back to my hotel room. It feels like I have a miniature Asuka inside my skull dancing with hobnail boots while indulging in one of her classic "hit parades". Also, my butt's sore from being grabbed by several drunken women. It's not the first time this has happened. Wish I could figure out this fetish they have for my ass-maybe I should have photos taken and distributed (limited edition, signed and numbered. Special embossed logo Shinji sat here!). Probably last longer. After staggering into the shower and letting the hot water work its magic, I went down for breakfast. A truly inspired idea; 3 cups of corrosively strong coffee and I was almost feeling normal. A plate of dim-sum, sausage, eggs and hash browns completed things. I no longer possess what Asuka somewhat derisively called a "Japanese stomach". Living abroad has considerably broadened my tastes. Grey matter was still feeling tender as I went back to my room. Can't remember the last time I felt like this. Whoa! Yes I do! I was right after I came out of that 3 month long coma. Although I didn't know it at the time, my revival was to result in a new and improved Shinji and a whole new world for me.  
  
Opening my eyes was never this hard! I looked around and found I had trouble even turning my head. Unfamiliar ceiling indeed! I looked down at myself, and almost feinted from shock. I was always painfully thin, but now I looked emaciated, almost skeletal. How the hell long was I out for, anyway? And where was Asuka!?? Was she o.k.? I must have made some noise, because a nurse peered in, and gasped, "Omigod, he's awake!! Get Dr. Akagi, fast!" Damn it, I felt myself going to sleep again! I really want to stay.awake.. More familiar ceiling this time. Opening my eyes was a lot less painful, too. Throat felt dryer than hell's basement though. As if on queue, a straw was inserted between my lips. Water felt heavenly going down. "Welcome back, Kiddo! You had us worried!" The voice could only belong to Ritsuko, but why was her hair brown? Not a bad change though. "Hello Shinji" A light touch on my shoulder accompanied a warm toned voice. It was Maya. "Here, let me take that for you. Got to take it slow, o.k.?" I tried to say something in return. What came out of my mouth didn't even sound human! Reminded me of that pre-second impact film, what was it called? Oh, yeah,  
  
The Miracle workers! The shock must have shown vividly on my face. Ritsuko sat down next to me, chuckling. "I was going to tell you not to try and talk, but you've found that out by yourself. You'll have to go in for speech therapy to clear that up. You're also going to have to take physical therapy as well to retrain those atrophied muscles; 3 month in a coma will do that to a person", fixing me with an arch look. Oh joy, what other good news did she have in store for me? "I'll just have a few samples taken, blood work done, the usual. All in all, you seem to have come through this a bit better than expected." Then, unexpectedly, her face changed. She frowned a bit, and her eyes grew softer. "Well, so much for the good news". Her mouth twisted, and she looked pleadingly at Maya. Maya nodded once and Ritsuko turned to the door. "I'll be back soon Shin-Chan..." Her voice broke, and she rapidly walked out. Maya's soft brown eyes locked on mine. "Shinji, there's no easy way to say this. Asuka's gone back to Germany." I closed my eyes, feeling like someone had stuck a knife in my gut. I just couldn't believe it; She left me, and she never even said goodbye! Maya smiled sadly. "You have to understand, Shinji, 3rd impact shattered everything she had built her life on. She needed to go someplace and regroup." Maya reached down and hugged me a bit. "I know how much you cared about her, and I know she had feelings for you as well! But she just couldn't stay here. There were too many bad memories. She did leave a note for you." Maya had put it on a clipboard and held it up for me to read. Before I finished, I had tears rolling down my face. She cared for me, but not the same way I did for her. While I was happy that she didn't hate me, even though I wished her well, it still hurt like hell. Something in Maya's bearing told me that there was even worse to follow. "Shinji..Misato's gone as well." That..was very unexpected. I felt something shatter inside me. "I don't know the reasons. Sempai does, but she won't say anything. I know she and Misato had a horrible fight about it. I'm sorry, Shinji." Maya's eyes started to tear up; I began to cry, great wracking sobs ripping from my chest. Maya just held me, rocking me like a child. First mother died. Then father abandoned me. My relatives never cared about me. Misato made me feel like I finally had a home, and now she had walked out on me as well. Of all the betrayals I had ever experienced, this hurt the worst! I wept uncontrollably for what seemed like hours. All the while, Maya held me, stroking my hair and making soothing noises through her own tears. Finally, exhausted, I sank into a restless slumber.  
For the next few days, I just lay like a lump, refusing food or water. I just felt like dying. But something was stirring inside me. Maybe I had just come down as far as I could. One night, I was turning it over in my head for the thousandth time, when I felt it; RAGE!! All my life, I had been tossed aside like so much garbage. I was abandoned, forsaken by people who I thought cared about me. I routinely risked my life for virtually no thanks and feint praise. I mean, I was reduced to being a servant for a slovenly sot of a commanding officer with delusions of motherhood. I had taken physical and emotional abuse from a dysfunctional girl with an anger disorder and a superiority complex. And for what? A few words of thanks? A pat on the head? What was I, Cinder- Shinji? Where was my fairy godmother in all this? Maybe I grew up a bit that night, but I was finally, heartily SICK of it all! No more! Never again. I refused to allow myself to be used anymore. No more Mr. Doormat. No more running away, ever again! This time, I was going to fight!  
  
The next several months passed in a blur. Anger fueled my body, making me attack my physical rehabilitation. The Therapists couldn't believe how rapidly I was progressing. Of course, they never knew just how much pent- up fury I had inside me either. I actually found myself enjoying intensive weight training. Soon after I got out of the hospital, I was transferred to temporary quarters at what was now GEHIRN. While there, I took intensive martial arts training. It was a great release for my hostility. I was still subject to blinding headaches, though. One day, I was hooked up to some monitoring equipment. I was subjected to extensive testing and measurements. When the report came back, Ritsuko looked it over, and then slumped into a chair in a state of near-disbelief. "Well, Ritsuko, what's the verdict? Am I going to be able to play the violin again?" I quipped. Old cliché, but still effective. "Shinji, if this means what I think it does, you might soon be able to do it without using either a bow or your hands!" "Huh? That makes no sense whatsoever!" "Oh yes it does! You remember during impact? You were the focus! All those minds and souls meeting through you. Do you think any ordinary person could go through that without going insane?" "Maybe not, but if that's the case, why am I not gibbering and drooling in a padded cell somewhere?" "Well, your mind had already been altered through exposure to EVA. Impact forced your mind to change even further in order to survive. Simply put, you're starting to manifest psionic abilities!" Seeing my blank look, she continued. "All those headaches you're getting are because you're beginning to "hear" peoples' thoughts, but can't really interpret them yet. It comes across as so much gibberish. So, the stress of trying to sort all those thoughts out causes one hell of a headache! You also have a greatly increased ability to absorb, store and process information. Somehow, I don't think Schoolwork is going to be much of a challenge anymore" She grinned. So did I. Loved the idea of not having to struggle with homework! "Eventually, you might not only be able to "hear" thoughts, but project them as well. Telekinesis is also a possibility." She started pacing the room. "We're going to want you in on a regular basis, Shinji. We have to start to put together some means for you to learn to use them without harming either yourself or anyone else." She stopped pacing for the moment. "Have you been having trouble sleeping lately, Shinji?" "Well, now that you mention it." "That, at least we can help right now". She grabbed a bottle of pills "Take these. They'll greatly reduce the neural sensitivity. We'll decrease the amount as your control increases." She smiled, rubbing her hands and resembling a little girl given free reign in a toy shop. "Shinji, you never cease to amaze me!" "Uh-yeah, thanks doc." I didn't know whether to laugh or throw up. It never got easier, did it?  
  
Then came the U.N inquiry into 3rd impact. Endless question upon question, blurring into the next. One official must have fancied himself as a theologian because he asked me the most asinine question I had ever heard. "Shinji Ikari, do you believe that you are god's chosen Messiah?" After I brutally suppressed a roar of laughter I answered, "Respectfully, No. And if I might add something, I believe that any deity who would entrust the fate of the entire human race into the hands of a clinically depressed 15 year old must be one VERY sick puppy!"  
  
The uproar this caused took quite some time to calm down.  
  
Eventually, I was found blameless in the whole affair. The U.N and mankind as a whole owed me a debt that could never be repaid, blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda. As a reward for my service to humanity, I was given an honorary rank of Lieutenant Colonel, with commensurate pay and benefits. I was also given a card that guaranteed me virtually unlimited funding. Add on the accumulated pay in my trust fund and small private fortunes left by my parents, well, let's just say I was obscenely well off. I really didn't give a damn about that, though. I just wanted to start living again.  
  
Fate has never been very kind to me.  
  
I couldn't go out in public without being mobbed by hero worshippers and religious fanatics alike; armed guards became a regular escort. Dating might have been pleasant if it weren't for the fact they all resulted in paternity suits. Hell, I barely even got to first base with most of them! DNA testing nullified each, but provided great grist for the tabloids and Paparazzi. As Ritsuko predicted, school was no challenge anymore; My scores were enough to get me into the University of my choice. In the meantime, at the insistence of Ritsuko and the bridge bunnies, I was invited to share a large multi-bedroom house outside Tokyo-2. There I found acceptance, and friendship. I jammed with Aoba, bullshitted and brainstormed with Maya and Makoto, and was even adopted by one of Ritsuko's "children", a little fuzz ball who woke me each morning purring contentedly on my chest. Then, all too soon, decision time. I needed to pick a University. I hated living in a fishbowl, so the choice was obvious-I was going to go to the University of New Manhattan, in the states. A few weeks later, I found myself on a transatlantic flight to the Federated nation- states of the Americas. As we crossed over into New Yorsey, my destination reared up in the distance, circle upon gleaming circle of buildings and parks. The city of New Manhattan, Hub city, the Bull's-eye. Most folks just called it the "Big O". The cabin lights came on. "Attention passengers, we are beginning our approach to Roger Smith International Airport. Please fasten your safety belts and return all tray tables and seat backs to an upright position. On Behalf of the Captain and crew, we thank you for flying JAL, and wish you a pleasant day."  
  
At that moment, there was a loud knock on my hotel door. 


	4. UnSettling in

Requiem: Chapter 4  
(UN)Settling In.  
********** *************** Authors note: If you have an aversion to bad jokes, RUN AWAY!!! Was in a very strange mood when I started this, probably stress. My apologies to those I might have confused by posting chapter 3, then ripping it out and putting up a new version in short order. Will try not to do that anymore. .Also, any suggestions on getting rid of this "chunky" text problem I've had in uploading let me know. Minor formatting problems fixed. Disclaimer added.  
  
Disclaimer: See chapter one.  
  
The knock on my Hotel room shook me out of my woolgathering. Just as well, dwelling on the past makes me feel a bit sheepish. This knock was not the polite maid service knock, or the slightly more assertive room service knock. This was a door shaking, section 2 type knock, the kind that says, let me in..NOW!!! As soon as I opened the door, my ribcage was being crushed in a hug that would've made Misato look like a rank amateur.  
  
"Shinji, you shrimp! Been too long, man! How ya been?"  
  
"I'd be a lot better if you'd let me breathe a bit! And I'm not a shrimp!" Although I'm about 6 foot and considered fairly muscular, this man could make almost anyone look small. He seemed to be as wide as he was tall, with virtually no waist, fairly little neck, and tree trunk arms and legs. Blonde hair exploded outwards in an unruly mop, with bushy brows overhanging a startling pair of leaf-green eyes. Add craggy features, with a short- cropped beard framing a widely grinning mouth, and you have a good picture of my old college roommate and near brother, Conrad Von Mannheim. After releasing me, he continued our verbal sparring.  
  
"Yah, you're right.you're a Jumbo Shrimp!  
  
"That's an oxymoron."  
  
"I'm no moron, oxy or otherwise! You trying to say I'm stupid?"  
  
"I didn't say a thing. You did"  
  
"Good point!"  
  
We retreated back inside, laughing like the fine pair of idiots we were. I'd really missed this sort of banter. Although the casual listener would have been hard put to figure out what was being said, considering we were continually switching between German, Japanese, and very idiomatic American English. It was a little game we started playing after he found out I spoke German, and I found that he spoke Japanese. It helped polish our language skills, and readily discouraged eavesdroppers.  
**Past**  
  
It's funny how things look so serene from above, but when you land, Yeesh! New Manhattan Roared! It screamed, whispered, purred, laughed and growled. I'm accustomed to crowds, coming from Japan, but New Manhattan was possessed of a life and vitality that could intimidate, even terrify a newcomer unless one was willing to embrace it with open arms. People everywhere, of every description possible. Very in your face, too! No bowing here. Of course, in every crowd, there are oddities. While I was waiting for an express tube line, I heard the sound of a drum, followed by a sonorous, almost hypnotic chant. A line of blank eyed people with empty smiles trooped past. A fellow bystander "tskd". "Cult of the purple dinosaur and his divine offspring, Bop. Poor guys won't make a move without the say so of their spiritual leader, or "Barney". He turned back to the paper he was reading. I shook my head sadly as they disappeared down the corner, their chant lingering in the air.  
"I love you, you love me..." A solemn testament to the rise of fringe groups in the wake of the shakeup and near death of organized religion.  
I finally took the express Pneumatic coach, or "pneum" and was shot towards the University sector. I proceeded to check in with the local GEHIRN branch. I had never been released by the organization, so even though it was unlikely I still had to ensure my availability if needed. GEHIRN, as stated previously, was now primarily devoted to research, and gained a number of eager recruits from the near-by campuses. I was greeted warmly, and shown the way to the  
  
Visiting Officers Quarters, where I settled in for the night. I was also fitted with a sub dermal transceiver which would notify me of any summons. Check-In at the U was the next day.  
  
I was up with the sun, anxious to get my dorm assignment and dining plan out of the way. The amount of paperwork that I had to go through gave me an inkling of what Katsuragi had had to deal with. My sympathies. I received my dorm assignment and meal ID, and went to find my room. I was staying in Kenyon hall, west wing. I thought then, and still do, that the architect and contractor who designed and built the place must have been on drugs, or just crazy. Here you had a co-ed dorm with suites and bathrooms, but guess what? NO HALLWAYS!! To get from point a to point b, you had to amble through suite, then bathroom, then suite and, well you get the picture. Knocking was not just a social skill, but also a necessity. Although some people conveniently forgot, although that's for later telling. I found my room, plopped my duffels and Instrument cases off, and then decided to catch some lunch. Some people complain about dining hall food, but having had the."pleasure" of sampling the toxic waste Misato served, I actually found it fairly palatable. My meal plan also allowed me to eat at several sites off campus, but I decided to try them another day. I walked around to familiarize myself with the campus, which was so enormous that it was practically a world within itself. The place sprawled over a wide area; it even had its own shuttle system! Still early, and I was feeling restless, so when I happened on some guys playing American football (2 hand touch), I decided to give it a try. I had never played myself, but I had watched some games on T.V., and it didn't seem that complicated. I was used as an "offensive lineman", whatever the hell that was. I was supposed to block the other guy in order to advance downfield.  
  
I dropped down and waited for the snap. My opposite number was. Big!! Since when did rock slabs learn to walk? When we collided, it felt like I slammed into a granite wall as well. After a few seconds, I found myself landing rather indelicately on my posterior. After he helped me up, he wore a very contented look. "Finally, someone I can hit who won't crumple and blow away". His accent was thick, definitely German.  
  
"You call that a hit? I had a roommate 14 years old, and she could hit me harder than that" I retorted in his own language.  
  
His eyes widened slightly, and a grin spread over his face. He replied in very good Japanese, much to my surprise. "Sounds like my kind of girl! Best stick to English, your accent is atrocious!" We both laughed at that, and then got back to the game. According to some of our teammates, we went at it like 2 rutting mountain goats butting heads. Some of them stopped playing momentarily just to watch! Finally, tired and bruised, the game wound down. We shook hands.  
  
"Nice game. What's your handle?" I asked.  
  
"Conrad von Mannheim"  
  
"As in The Mannheim Group?" It was the name of a huge multinational.  
  
"Yah. My old man expects me to take up the reigns. Probably will, but in the meantime, I wanna explore things a bit. Not to mention do some serious Partying!" He smiled and rubbed his hands together, seemingly in anticipation. Then it was his turn.  
  
"Ok, I've spilled, now how about you?"  
  
I almost gave him an alias, but something about him said not to bullshit  
  
"Nobody special. Name's Shinji Ikari."  
  
He looked at me in shock for a moment, and then shook his head.  
  
"Nobody special my ass!" He surprised me by saying this in a low voice. "The guy who saves the whole freakin' world..." He continued to shake his head, chuckling. "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. nobody special" He then commented "I don't think you have to worry so much about the hero and lunatic fringe. You're not that well known in the States. I know of you since we did a lot of business with NERV. So where are you staying?"  
  
"Kenyon West."  
  
"The place with no hallways?"  
  
"Same."  
  
"God, I don't know whether to pity you or envy you. That zoo is famed for some interesting close encounters". He thought for a moment, then said, "Tell you what, how about after dinner, we hike on over to the Pub at the student union, and split a few brews?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan to me!"  
  
We both got pleasantly buzzed that night, but not too much. After all, the torture called registration was the next day. This was my first meeting with "Manny" as he liked to be called. Later on, at swap week, we became roommates.  
  
**Present**  
  
"So where's the Missus?" I asked.  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Putting on the war paint and feathers. Like she really needs to. "A sound of running feet came. Manny looked out into the hall, and then grinned.  
  
"Incoming!!" A moment later, I was practically bowled over by a laughing, and absolutely stunning redhead. Asuka Sorhyu Von Mannheim was in the house, lord help us all!  
  
"Shinji, you baka! Where the hell have you been hiding lately? You had us worried!" Followed by a knock on the noggin. Some things never change!  
  
"Oh, here and there. And that reminds me, how did you guys know where I was?"  
  
I was then pinned by 2 pairs of piercing eyes.  
  
"Let's just say that a mutual friend asked us to keep tabs on you."  
  
"Still running away, Shinji?" Asuka gibed gently, a sympathetic look in her eyes.  
  
I grimaced. "No, just having a few issues with myself..."  
  
"Uh-huh. Yeah. Right. Solve 'em Shinji. This is the best thing that could happen to you", Manny glowered at me.  
  
"Don't wait too long, Shinji. She loves you very much."  
  
"I know. I feel the same." Silence reigned for a few moments, then...  
  
"Shinji, I have a favor to ask of you" said Manny. "Seems that we're in a family way..."  
  
".And we want you to be the godfather!" Asuka finished.  
  
I was stunned, and then bowed deeply. "It would be my honor!" I looked at Asuka. Not too many changes, but still, something funny here. Then I "heard" it..Oh my!  
  
"Manny, you a baseball fan?"  
  
"Yeah, Why?"  
  
Because it looks like you and Asuka are going to have a double-header!"  
  
The crash of Manny feinting rocked the Hotel to its foundations.  
  
**Author's note** Yes, a dorm like I described actually does exist, in Buffalo, NY. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I hope to have more coming up soon. 


	5. Interlude

REQUIEM  
Chapter 5: Interlude  
  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1  
  
Hanging around Some kind of lonely clown Rainy days and Mondays Always get me down.  
  
Rainy days and Mondays  
By the Carpenters.  
  
Sleet was sheeting down from darkening skies, the chill outside pretty much matching the way I was feeling inside. Asuka and Manny had left about an hour back, telling me they wanted me over at their place tomorrow to celebrate New Genesis with them and their family. I readily agreed, but the warmth I felt faded all too soon.  
  
Family.  
  
That was the crux of the whole matter. I really had never had a family. My life was one big empty space when it came to that, one long string of abandonment and multiple betrayals. Sure, others had tried to substitute their companionship as a surrogate, but it just wasn't the same. It could never be.  
  
"Still running, Shinji?"  
  
I think that maybe I was. I think, way down deep, the idea of having a family, of becoming part of one scared the shit out of me. I knew who and what was waiting for me back stateside. Part of me yearned for it, craved it like nothing else. And then, there was that frozen, deeply scarred part that told me to avoid it, avoid the possibility of ever being hurt again.  
  
But if you don't feel pain, then how can you know what happiness really is?  
  
All this thinking was making my head hurt. I felt truly weary, all the way down to my soul. I closed the blinds and lay in bed. Soon, lulled by the crystalline cry of the sleet against my window, I fell asleep.  
  
Hey, I recognized this place! God knows I had been here enough. It was an all-too familiar train car.but very much changed! All the doors were open, and there seemed to be a building outside. Dust lay heavily on most of the seats. A hammock stretched across the width of the car, flanked by empty pizza boxes and containers of Chinese takeout. I heard footsteps, accompanied by someone whistling a tune that sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite place. The Whistler soon came into view.  
  
"Hey, buddy! Long time no see!"  
  
It was my younger self of course. He was chowing down on a Falafel sandwich with plenty of tahini and hot sauce and a coke to round it out.  
  
"You keep eating like this, you're gonna get one helluva gut!  
  
My self smirked. "Never happen. I'm just a pigment of your imagination, remember? Now what's the hubbub, bub?"  
  
"Well, I thought I was doing ok until now, I mean, I didn't need anyone..."  
  
My other self looked down my pants and shirt, then checked my hair roots  
  
"Nope, no sex change here, and you are not in any danger of becoming a 14 year-old redhead."  
  
Had me there; that was classic Asuka material, all right.  
  
"Girl trouble? Or just a bad case of cold feet?" My younger self looked askance at me. "Buddy, you've got no problems here that I can see."  
  
"But what if I screw things up? What kind of husband, much less father would I be?" I received a very loud razz berry at this.  
  
"Well, as far as screwing up goes, who hasn't? The thing is you don't avoid it. You deal with it. You try to improve. Then you move on." He paused to take a gulp of the soda  
  
"As far as the father thing goes, it's good to start thinking about it, but you've still got time before you even have to start worrying." He then got a perfectly devilish look on his face.  
  
"Hey, I got an Idea! Use Gendo as your role model"  
  
"ARE YOU NUTS??? "  
  
"Far from it. Just look at the bastard king, see everything he was.and then be completely the opposite. Use him as a NEGATIVE model!!"  
  
I couldn't help but smile at that. I was everything that he wasn't, so why not take the step into raising a family. I smiled even more broadly when I realized that everything was in perspective now. They say that home is where the heart is, and I knew now, for the first time, where my home and heart truly lay. And it was not in Japan!  
  
Seemed I had a phone call to make.  
  
My younger self got this self satisfied smirk on his face. "You have learned well, grasshopper. Somehow, I think I'm not going to see you here anymore"  
  
"Maybe not."  
  
"About time. More than past time that this station got closed up. Well, I think I ought to show you the way out. But before I do, I gotta go change into something a bit more comfortable."  
  
I watched in astonishment as cracks ran rampant all over the form before me. It flexed, and then burst. Standing before me was a different form, the same one that I saw when I looked in the mirror. Me as I am now. The other I was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt with a picture of a berserk EVA- 01. The logo read "I survived 3rd impact and all I got was this crummy t- shirt!!" A pair of Nike sneaks completed the ensemble.  
  
"Ahhh, much better! Why so surprised, bud? You finally faced the fact that you're an adult. D'ya think your perception of yourself wouldn't change too?"  
  
He patted me on the back, as he led me towards the exit. I stopped, and looked around for a minute. "You know, I'm almost going to miss this place."  
  
"Yeah, but all things must end. This property condemned, you know." He bent, picking up some boards, nails, and a hammer. "Time to seal this place up once and for all" At the exit, he turned. "You don't need me like this anymore. You've got lots of other people who care for you now. Believe in them. Believe in yourself" He then turned, and walked back to the station, whistling. And this time, I knew the tune.  
  
"I been workin' on the railroad, all the livelong day.."  
  
Wise-ass.  
  
I woke up, checked the time. 3 a.m. Perfect. She should be home now.  
  
I picked up the phone. 


	6. Fox and hound

Requiem chapter 6:  
Fox and Hound  
  
Disclaimer: See previous chapters.  
  
Author's notes: I was beginning to feel a bit stale. Anytime writing becomes a chore, it's time to either take a break, or try something different. I'm taking the latter approach, using another's point of view.  
  
Hope people don't hate this; I'd hate to lose the few regular readers I have.  
  
Mom and Dad had told me that Shinji had called looking for me. This after leaving a couple of puzzled sounding messages on my answering machine. They had bluffed him by saying I was attending a medical conference out in Vegas, and that I couldn't be reached. Good! Let him worry for a change! Sorry if I'm being a bit of a bitch, but this little game of cat and mouse that's been going on for the past 2 years was going to come to an end or my name wasn't Nehlani Neramani. No, no ultimatum. That would backfire for sure. I bit my lip; of course, what I was going to do could blow up in my face anyway, but it was worth taking a chance. HE was worth taking the chance. And if I keep thinking like this, I'm probably going to wind up on some soap opera. On Today's episode of "As the stomach turns".  
  
Yes, I know all about his past. I also know that he had been badly abused both mentally and emotionally. Certain mannerisms, little quirks that others wouldn't notice were apparent even before I found out about Gendo, Misato and the rest of those expletive deleted people at NERV. I'm a Pediatrician. I also do volunteer work at a local clinic. I've seen more than my share of kids beaten, starved or having some kind of chemical dependency coming in. I do my best, but half the time the courts end up putting the kids back with the abusers. And this despite much stricter laws against child abuse. I've lain awake so often at night sick to my stomach over what was going on. I love children. Love to have about a half dozen myself, but let's not rush things. I became what I am because of that love. That this kind of crap still goes on when we're trying to rebuild and repopulate this planet..sickening!  
  
No, I do not want to mother Shinji.I'd rather be doing something far more enjoyable and absolutely sinful with him. Whoa, down girl! Put a hold on the hornies 'til later.  
  
It was sweet of Conrad and Asuka to put me up at their place. Even better that they were going to help spring my little surprise on a certain ex-Eva pilot. The bath was heavenly, and I only reluctantly got out of the water to avoid "prunification." As I was drying off, I considered my reflection in the mirror. Grey eyes set in a high cheek boned face looked back at me. Long wavy black hair went down to mid-back A real pain to brush out. Not a bad bod for a 30 year old either. Yes, I was a bit older that him, but did that really matter? I loved him. I wanted him, wanted to shield him from any harm. I wanted to have him with me for the rest of my life, and to bear his children. I've been told I'm like a pit bull.when I've got what I want, I don't let go. That also applies to men in general and Shinji in particular. Manny told me that Shinji would be there tonight. I planned accordingly. After all, the day Shinji ever made the first move was the day the devil opened a ski resort.  
  
Shinji and I met at Conrad's wedding to Asuka. Shinji was the best man. Those 2 had become like brothers, ever since Shinji managed to talk Manny out of committing suicide one night. I'm not that certain of the details, but Shinji later joked that he knew the right buttons to press. Not surprising from someone who had multiple failed attempts before he even turned 15! I had also been friends with Manny, having run into him during a summer session. He played a wicked game of pool, but I got him back at air hockey. I was still shocked to receive an invitation, though. Must have made quite an impression! That Manny was trying to play matchmaker never entered my head.  
  
The bride was stunning, the groom very handsome, but the best man.! I just wanted to jump him right then and there. He was gorgeous! When we were formally introduced at the reception, I found myself becoming much more interested in this quiet young man. I have my urges and a roll in the hay with him would have been fantastic. But there was just something about him. His eyes.they made him seem so much older than he was. His manner was reserved, even a bit shy; he even blushed when he took a good look at me. Of course, the dress I was wearing didn't help. I managed to dance with him a few times, but he seemed almost a ghost, very elusive. Very frustrating to me; I really enjoyed the way he felt against me.  
  
Then a little girl, not much older than 4, fell on the dance floor and started to cry. Before anyone could get there, Shinji had scooped her up, rocking her in his arms and making little shushing sounds. You would think that a child being picked up by a stranger would have a screaming fit, but this was not the case. He had such a comforting influence that she was calm, even smiling in moments. As he handed her back to her mother he turned to me, and said with a little grin,  
  
"I don't like seeing anyone in pain."  
  
And that's when I knew. I was never a believer in love at first sight, but this came pretty damn close. A man like this just couldn't exist! He was just too good to be true! That's when I made it my mission to unravel this mystery called Shinji Ikari. Of course, I didn't know that that was his name. He was using an alias at that time. Speaking of which, my quarry had finally arrived. I watched from an alcove as he circulated around. He was much surer of himself these days than when we first met, but he still tended towards being a loner. Soon, he got that look that I knew so well. It was a reflective look, the one he used when he was mulling something important over.  
  
He stepped out onto the terrace. I saw him shiver a little in the chill air. He never did feel comfortable in social situations, even after all this time. Manny and Asuka came out to talk, managing to distract him and keep him from noticing my stealthy approach. Yeah, stealthy with these heels? Give me a break!  
  
Time for me to make my move. 


	7. Questions and answers

R equiem chapter 7:  
Questions and Answers  
  
Authors note: Thanks to all my readers. I'll endeavor to keep the quality high on this fic. I'm also trying to make the acc's as real as possible. You be the judge.  
  
Easy, Nehlani! Remember, deep cleansing breaths. Nothing to worry about! Of course, try telling that to the swarm of butterflies trying to fly my stomach out my mouth!  
  
o.k., one last look before go time. I ran my fingers through my mane, pushing it back away from my face. Black leather pants with a tightly cinched matching vest clung to every curve. A gauzy little black nothing with bloused sleeves lay under the vest, and the heels put my 5'9 frame almost up to eye level with Shinji. Definitely high up on the slink factor scale! Not quite as vampish as that gold number I wore at Manny's wedding.speaking of which, I haven't been this nervous since I asked him and Asuka about Shinji, and suffered brain meltdown as a result!  
  
I had decided to stay a few days more at the hotel before flying home. I was a little surprised to find that the newlyweds were not going anywhere else on their honeymoon. Not that they really needed to, since Manny's company virtually owned the place, supplying all the amenities including privacy! And that was one thing they needed. Asuka was practically mobbed wherever she went. Posters of the "Crimson Valkyrie" adorned the walls of many an adolescent boy. She was constantly being sought after for movie deals, talk shows, you name it. She was admired and revered the world over. Only one other had more prestige and adoration, and he had completely dropped from sight. Shinji Ikari, the Pathfinder. Rumors and tales swirled around that name, and the longer he stayed hidden, the bigger the legends grew. Weird coincidence that my target was a Shinji too. Common enough name in Japan, I guessed.  
  
I was lounging around poolside when I saw them come down from the penthouse suite. They both had that glow peculiar to young newlyweds and I admit to feeling a strong twinge of jealousy. The tired, but very smug looks they exchanged also showed that somebody had had a very busy night! Manny sprawled out on a chaise, nursing a frozen daiquiri. Asuka in the meantime did a beautiful swan off the high dive, cleaving the surface with nary a ripple. Upon surfacing, she started doing laps. I figured this might be a good time to get some information on my new romantic interest, and moseyed on over towards the bearded slab on the chaise.  
  
"Hey, 'Lani, enjoy the wedding?" He hugged me and bussed my cheek as he asked.  
  
"It was beautiful, Manny, really nice. But I do have a couple of questions, though."  
  
"About.?"  
  
"Well, your best man, Shinji Ryouji."  
  
"Ah, and what did you think of my erstwhile former roommate, eh?"  
  
"You mean, aside from wanting to tear his clothes off and do the nasty with him right then and there..? "  
  
Manny practically convulsed at that, his whole body shaking with silent laughter. "Oh, oh my, don't let him hear you say that, otherwise he's liable to turn bright red and melt into an embarrassed blob on the floor" he wheezed, trying to get his breath back.  
  
"Been there, done that, along with most of the world's population. 3rd impact, remember?" Came my tart rejoinder.  
  
"Ouch. I deserved that, I guess. So what d'you want to know?"  
  
I took a minute to consider how to put it. I had noticed a few some things that had me concerned. His wariness around others, even his friends. His overly apologetic manner, even though he tried to cover it up. These things, among others pointed to someone who had really taken a beating emotionally.  
  
"He seems like a real sweetie, and I definitely want to get to know him. But I get the feeling that he was "Gendo'ed"* at some point. Has he ever said anything about that?"  
  
Manny's reply surprised me. "If I answer that, it may tell you a helluva lot more than you want to know." His expression was dead serious, as he gave me an appraising look. "I don't know if you could handle it. And I don't feel that I have the right to divulge that information."  
  
"Try me. I'm a big girl, you know." This air of mystery was beginning to irritate me.  
  
Instead of answering me himself, he called Asuka over. "Honey, you remember Dr. Neramani from last night, don't you?"  
  
"Sure do!" She favored me with a bright smile. "Nice to see you again, Dr. Neramahni. So what's up?"  
  
"Seems 'Lani's rather taken with Shinji. She's been asking about him." At this, Asuka lost her smile completely. She exchanged a series of looks with him that spoke volumes. Finally, she nodded, and motioned for me to follow her. We wound up in a small private lounge near the bar. Asuka closed and locked the door  
  
"Let me explain something, Dr. Neramani."  
  
"Lani, please."  
  
"O.k. Lani. Please don't be offended if it seems like we're giving you the 3rd degree, but Shinji is very special, to both of us. We owe him more than can ever be repaid so we're a little over protective where he's concerned. Neither of us wants to see him get hurt or taken for granted. That's happened too often before, and anyone who does it now had better watch their asses!"  
  
I was amazed! I just could not believe that this shy, self effacing man could have such an impact on 2 such highly influential people. I was starting to feel a bit apprehensive.  
  
"I knew about Manny, but.you too? God, what is it about Shinji Ryouji? What's your connection with him?"  
  
Asuka thawed a bit, giving a silvery laugh. "Well, in the first place, are you aware that Shinji and I were co-workers?"  
  
I shook my head. This was real news to me!  
  
"Well, I've known that baka much longer than the pet rock out there has." She used the term in an affectionate manner, and I began to get a sinking feeling that the other shoe was about to drop, and hard!  
  
"In the second place, his family name is not Ryouji. It's Ikari."  
  
OH-MY-GAWD!!!  
  
I sat down heavily, legs feeling like limp spaghetti. It all made sense now! It had been widely documented how The Pathfinder had been treated while an EVA pilot. And here he was, the living legend, hiding in plain sight! I shook my head, to clear the cobwebs.  
  
I was then treated to a brutally honest, no-holds-barred account of life during the angel wars, and the tragedy that was Shinji Ikari. Midway through it, I had tears of mixed sorrow and anger running down my face. But instead of being scared off, I was determined to continue what I knew was going to be a very hard road. Boy, could I ever pick 'em! I couldn't help but laugh at myself and my luck. And the worst thing is, I had to continue as if I knew nothing about him or his little masquerade. Asuka's voice brought me back to reality.  
  
"Shinji once told me that my happiness was his main goal in life." She stood there, incredibly intense. "I have a lot to make up for in the way I treated him." Her lip was quivering slightly, her voice tight. "I'd cheerfully go to hell and back if I can help him be truly happy. Well 'Lani, you still up for this?"  
  
What came out of me was a low growl. "Just let anyone try and stand in my way!" Much to my surprise, Asuka then grabbed me and hugged me, hard. I saw a glimmer of tears in her eyes.  
  
"You'll do, 'Lani, you'll do!"  
  
I felt like I had been given a benediction.  
  
This brings me back to the present. I reached out and tapped him gently on the shoulder. When he turned around, I saw his eyes widen in shock as he saw me standing in front of him. Then I don't think either of us saw much of anything after that, as I wrapped myself around him and kissed him thoroughly!  
  
After what seemed like hours, we broke the kiss. "Neh-ne-ne..." I cut him short by placing a finger on his lips. "That's what I love about you honey. You're always so eloquent" I teased. "But we really have to talk. NOW!"  
  
With that, I led him into the study, with both Manny and Asuka closing the doors after us. I saw it slowly begin to dawn on him that he had just been set up!  
  
Once the doors closed, I started in. "Shinji, how long have we been going together now?" I held up my hand, stopping him from answering.  
  
"You know how I feel about you. You know that on New Genesis, you're supposed to spend it with loved ones and family. And what do you do? You friggin' high tail it off to Japan, and don't even ask me to come along!!" I yelled at him, not really having to fake the anger I felt at that.  
  
He started to open his mouth. I shut it for him. "And don't give me that Gomen crap!! Sorry just won't cut it this time!" Good, he was beginning to sweat. That was the wind up. Here comes the pitch.  
  
"Shinji Ikari, you leave me no choice" I paused theatrically "but to ask you to marry me!" I dropped down to one knee while saying it. A woman proposing to a man was fairly common in the States these days, but in Japan it was almost unheard of! Outwardly I was calm; inside I was sweating bullets, and praying that this wouldn't go to hell in a hand basket!  
  
Then came what could be classed as one of the rarest things in the world. Shinji smiled!! Not the tight little smile he usually sported, but a true smile, one of pure joy. The effect was like someone set off a flare in the room! A true wonder to behold! I reached into the small purse I carried with me, pulled out a ring, and placed it on his outstretched finger. I had it made special, with a raised horizontal figure eight on a thick gold band. In each of the lobes was a pear shaped diamond, with tips touching a tiny ruby in the center. As he watched it slide onto his hand he said,  
  
"Yes.but only on one condition!"  
  
Now it was my turn to be baffled. "What condition?"  
  
And then that adorable idiot did it! He dropped down on his knee and said  
  
"Nehlani Neramani, will you do me the honor of being my wife?" A small case was in his hand, enclosing a beautiful diamond solitaire.  
  
"Yes" I whispered. Then I screamed it, hurling myself into his arms. "YES!!"  
  
We kissed again, but this wasn't the hungry one we had exchanged earlier. This was a gentle, lingering one, the kind that was a promise. I rested my head on his shoulder, and then gave him a playful punch.  
  
"You shit, how long have you had that ring with you? Months?"  
  
"Actually, I just purchased it this morning. I had a long talk with myself, and came to a decision last night. But when I tried to call you."  
  
".You were told I was in Vegas. I know. "I sighed heavily. "So this whole trip was for nothing?"  
  
"Well, I wouldn't exactly say that, "He winked.  
  
"Mmm, your place or mine, sailor?"  
  
We walked out of the study to a hail of applause and catcalls. Asuka was ecstatic and Manny grinning like a Cheshire cat. We ran up the stairs and into my room, slamming the door after us. We slowly disrobed, and then.well, there are no words.  
  
Later, as the sweat dried on our intertwined bodies, I ran my fingers down his chest, gently kissing him.  
  
"Shinji, when are we going home?"  
  
"Soon, love. By the end of the week I hope. I still have a couple of things to take care of here." I knew what, or rather who those were  
  
"Whatever happens, Hon, I'll be there. But in the meantime." I let my hand drift south. He got the message. Thermal expansion indeed!  
  
Like I said, there are no words!  
  
To be Gendoed. Term referring to ultimate abandonment. A betrayal. To be abused mentally and emotionally on an unheard of level.  
  
A Gendo. A mortal insult. Equating someone with the betrayer of all mankind. 


	8. Denouement

Requiem Chapter 8:  
Denouement Disclaimer: see chapter 1.  
  
Authors note: The previous chapter 8 was discarded since all it did was clutter the story and increase the potential for reader confusion. I decided this after reading the review by RichardRahl. It got me thinking, and the conclusion was obvious. Thank you for pointing this out, Rich. You're a man of few words, but every one counts. This will be the last chapter, since the story has pretty much run its course. It will resolve a loose end that's remained open since chapters 2 and 3.  
  
Special thanks to jennyjennai, PhilG, and others who stuck with me the whole way. Your critiques were invaluable in helping me map out this tale. In a very real sense, you folks acted as my muses. I don't think it would have turned out even half so well if you hadn't chimed in. And now, enough blathering and sappy speeches. This ain't the academy awards y'know!  
  
The bar and grill was a nice little place, nothing too fancy. Simple menus, a decent drink selection, you know the type. It was a good place to meet friends for lunch, or to unwind after a hard days work. I was waiting for someone. I knew she was going to be here. It was part of her regular routine, these days. A friend of mine had supplied me with that information. Kensuke Aida, founder and C.E.O of Info Maniac, Inc. You know the ads; they always finished with the tag line "Are you an info maniac?" Now say that a few times fast. Once a perv, always a perv, I guess. He had set up a search routine that checked for transactions done under the name of Misato Katsuragi, then used it to track her movements. Unethical? Maybe. But for me, a necessary evil.  
  
I knew that she was special liaison between GEHIRN and the U.N. The paperwork had to be a killer and Misato and papers didn't mix, any more than a normal human's digestive processes would mix with her "cooking". She always showed up here before heading for her apartment on the upper west side of town. It was a ritzy area, home to diplomats and celebrities. Naturally, Misato's flamboyant personality would blend right in. No one would even comment on her more drunken episodes, just par for the course.  
  
I'd originally planned on having words with her at the taping of the television special on 3rd impact and the people involved. I was going to pop in unexpectedly and go from there. The more I thought about it though, the more distasteful the idea became for me. Although she had deserted me, I had no desire to humiliate her on national T.V. In spite of everything, Misato and I were family in a screwed-up dysfunctional way, and I needed to know what had caused this estrangement. I had a sneaking suspicion as to why, and another "contact" that had surfaced unexpectedly via Kensuke's efforts might help more than anything else possibly could. Years ago, I would have torn her a new one without a thought. Having people who loved and cared about me had changed my whole outlook on life. I looked at the bejeweled symbol of infinity resting on my finger, the memory giving me a feeling of warmth and contentment. Family was very important to me these days, and that included Misato.  
  
I was seated at a table towards the back. A mirror on the wall allowed me to keep an eye on the bar. I looked like a typical salary man, with a black trench coat and wrap around shades. Very inconspicuous. I liked inconspicuous. My patience was soon rewarded. There she was, right on schedule! Outwardly, she hadn't changed much. She still had a figure most women would kill to have, and there was no mistaking that hair. Her bearing and attitude were a very different story. Her face seemed more careworn; the usual zest for life was absent. She walked as if carrying a weight on her shoulders and ennui permeated the air around her. The bartender had a freshly chilled mug in front of her without even being asked.  
  
After a little while, I motioned to a server and requested that he bring her a pitcher of a very good imported brand I favored. A puzzled look appeared on her face, and then brightened when the server explained things. He pointed my way. She started to walk, or rather sashay over (not without the pitcher, though). I was laughing inwardly as she thrust her bust out more and put an extra bit of shimmy in her hips. The flirtatious look I knew of old was in full bloom on her face. She sat down on the other side of the table and looked me over, smile growing broader in approval. She still hadn't twigged to who I was.  
  
"Hi! Thanks for the beer!" Puzzlement showed in her eyes. "You're new here. Can't recall seeing you before. This time she practically undressed me while she ogled, approval and hunger starting to show. "I'd surely know if I had, believe me!" More than a little smoke in her voice now.  
  
"My pleasure Misato. It's been a while, now, hasn't it." I took off the shades that masked my eyes. She went white with shock. I thought for a moment that she was going to pass out.  
  
"Shinji?!" she gasped. I nodded. "Oh my god, you've changed!" Her hand reached out, fingers tracing the outlines of my face. Then, tears flooded her eyes, and she started to weep. "Ohgodohgodohgod, Shinji, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" I changed seats and sat down next to her, doing something that I never would have done those years ago; I wrapped my arms around her, holding her until the tears and sobs subsided.  
  
"Sorry? Hey, that's always been my line! You trying to horn in on my territory?" I lightly mocked, one finger flicking a tear off her cheek. I saw a wan smile grace her lips. She chugged the rest of her mug, visibly steadying herself.  
  
"Yeah, you've definitely changed" She chuckled slightly, a quiver still in her voice. "Why are you here, Shinji? Why now? After all this time."  
  
"Well, it is New Genesis. You're supposed to try and solve differences and start fresh. You're supposed to spend it with family." I speared her with a look. "I want to find out what happened to ours. Why, Misato? Why'd you leave without even saying a word? Why did you desert me?!" The words grated out, returning pain filling every word.  
  
"3rd impact happened she replied, tone devoid of any happiness. "My being shot to death happened." I waited for her to continue.  
  
"I remember pain. Then, it was the weirdest thing.I seem to remember Rei, taking my hand. Suddenly I'm seeing with other eyes, thinking with other's thoughts. I remember I saw family, my father alive again. I finally was able to tell him how much I really loved him, and to hear him apologizing, and saying it back. And then, I saw Kaji." The tears welled up again. "He. told me how he really felt. I was completely happy for the first time in I don't know how long. I was never going to leave him. Everything was perfect."  
  
Darkness then slid over her features.  
  
"Then you rejected instrumentality. Everything started to crumble. Kaji and I were forced apart. I tried to run after him, to follow him. I found myself running into this orange red glow. Then, I'm on a beach, coughing up LCL. Alone. No family. No Kaji."  
  
I saw sorrow and anger building in her eyes. "Why, Shinji? You had the power of a god! You could've had any reality, brought back anyone you wanted!! Why not him?! Don't I deserve happiness after all I've done and all that's happened? Why'd you ruin my life?!" Her hand flashed out in what was meant to be a stinging slap. I blocked it, hard. So that was it. Another loved one who was hurt by my actions. But this time, I wasn't going to accept the blame. I was done with that. "Which life, Misato?" I growled, sarcasm lacing my voice. "You got a brand new one. You were given a fresh start, a second chance. You even got a new liver and brand new plumbing." I softened my voice. "Misato, you could even have children! You could've had the family you've yearned for!" I paused to let it sink in, and then continued, my tone cold enough to freeze nitrogen.  
  
"But no, you needed a scapegoat and I was convenient. You used to accuse me of always running away, but at least I never made a secret of it. You, however, are still running. You ran from your father! You ran from Kaji! And now, you're running from yourself! Why the hell don't you face up to reality?!" The scorn I showed lashed out, each word dripping with acid. But I wasn't done yet.  
  
"The power of god? Bullshit! I had the power to make a choice. I could choose life, or I could choose illusion. I could take in all that life offered, or I could lose my individuality.and my soul. The only reality was this one right here. All others were just so much illusion that Lillith created, to keep her "children" content and happy like so much cattle. I chose reality, Misato. And in returning, I pointed the way for others to do so as well. I couldn't bring back anyone, Misato! The choice was up to the individual. All those with the will or the strength to return could. Don't you see?"  
  
"But.I don't understand. Why didn't kaji."  
  
"Why didn't he come back? I don't know. Maybe he wasn't ready. Maybe he felt YOU weren't ready. Maybe he did come back, but chose not to tell you. You know what kind of life he led. Maybe he just wanted to keep you safe." A look of dull resignation settled over her face, eyes closing. Then.  
  
"Why not ask me yourself, Katsuragi? Give the kid a break!" A familiar voice intruded. Standing behind her was a man. He was actually clean shaven, and the pony tail was gone, but the face was unmistakable. I smiled. My "contact" had finally made it.  
  
For the second time today, Misato blanched, only this time there was no sorrow. Joy blazed across her face. "Kaji.?" She whispered, then "KAJI!!" She shrieked. I just barely got out of the way in time to avoid being trampled on before she dove into his arms, practically knocking him over. As has been often said, Misato is an ample woman. Kaji had his hands full! I smiled. I was being ignored by Misato, but I didn't mind at all. I hated to cause pain to people I loved. I was glad I could get rid of hers. I started to leave, but Kaji caught my eye. He smiled, and gave me thumbs up mouthing 3 simple words; "Thank you, Shinji!" That made it all worth while. It would take time to set things fully to rights, but the first steps had been taken. I just hoped I'd get an invitation to the wedding. Speaking of which, I had to meet my bride-to-be for dinner. She had been out all day (shudder!) shopping. What it is with women and shopping is beyond me. I just prayed I didn't need another suitcase or 3 to carry home all the loot.  
  
With a last look over my shoulder and a lilt in my step, I made my way up the sidewalk, whistling.  
  
Mission accomplished. 


End file.
